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Elevator Pitch...31DBBB

This is my first post for the 31DBBB Problogger challenge with SITS. Today the task was to write your elevator pitch. According to Wikipedia, "an elevator pitch is an overview of an idea for a product, service, or project. The name reflects the fact that an elevator pitch can be delivered in the time span of an elevator ride (for example, thirty seconds or 100–150 words).”

I actually wrote this a couple of months ago when I got my new blog design & pretty much re-started my blog. I wrote a tag line, an elevator pitch & my About Me page. I like my About Me page, I really hate my tag line & I would appreciate any tips or insight into my elevator pitch. I think it all sounds cheesy. I'm not sure it comes across as clean as I'd like for it to. Either way, here you go:

Tag Line – My name is Cameron. I am the ingénue – the young girl becoming a woman. I’m 25 years old and I’m still learning who I am.

Elevator Pitch – My name is Cameron. I am the ingénue – the young girl becoming a woman. I’m 25 years old and I’m still learning who I am. I don’t fit in a category. I’m a breastfeeding, cloth diapering, natural birthing, Christian, tattooed mom who loves reading, watching tv & movies, has had success with scheduling & sleep training & who loves anything that makes me smile! My experience as a first-time mom is fun, scary, beautiful, messy, chaotic, but overall it’s authentic. It’s mine. It’s sincere. I’m growing, learning & loving every day!


What do you think?
What would you change or add or take out?
Would you scrap all of it & redo??




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Comments

Liz said…
I like it! I love that you threw "tattooed" in there. I think it gives a good overall idea of you.
Jacki said…
I like it as well! I think your off to a great start :)
Penny said…
Here from BlogFrog!

I love your pitch, I think it's better than mine. Mine is also on my About page but I ramble alot... lol.
Anonymous said…
Stopping over from SITS - I like your tag line a lot. Your elevator pitch is good too, but maybe a bit long? I'm not sure though. I definitely have a picture of what kind of person you are though :-)
Maria Beatrix said…
Well, I'm not sure if I'm the best for comment this as I'm still struggling to create my elevator pitch but it seems to me that yours is a bit long.
I think it should foccus on what your blog is about.
Although it explains who you are, it doesn't give a clue of what your blog is specifically about.
Maria Beatrix said…
Well, I'm not sure if I'm the best for comment this as I'm still struggling to create my elevator pitch but it seems to me that yours is a bit long.
I think it should foccus on what your blog is about.
Although it explains who you are, it doesn't give a clue of what your blog is specifically about.
Asashia said…
This is a bit scary but here goes...
You describe yourself VERY well. Readers will have a clear picture about who you are. I will have to agree with Maria that from that, your readers don't know what to expect when they visit your site. What do you want them to know to make them want to come back?

And let's remember, I'm not an expert with this and I think mine is a little long myself!
Heligirl said…
Love where you're headed with this. I agree that you might want to take the I out of the short pitch and possibly tie your blog with you in the longer pitch, possibly something about how the blog is your journey to finding your own beat in a world where you don't fit any one category? :) I love the not fitting in any one category focus.

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