Ingenue Mom

This week, I had my first day at home alone with both girls! Election day was Tuesday and Isis' babysitter only watches kids on a teacher's schedule (which is fabulous for me because it means we don't pay for spring break or fall break of Christmas break, etc.), so Isis was at home with me & Lux while Lewis was at work. I was less nervous about this than I was about doing bedtime by myself , but it still feels like a big deal to be outnumbered by 2 little ones that need your help! Happy to say, it went really well! My friend Emily & her 2 kids Reese & Aiden came over in the morning, so Isis got to play with Reese & I got to talk to a friend! Lux napped like a champ all day, so I also got some great alone time with Isis & then when their naps overlapped for an hour, I got a little bit of time to myself!  I also got to go vote when Lewis got home & Isis got to go with me! That was exciting for her to see that even at a young age. I hope she ...

Maternity pictures by Sara Corman Photography   I am laying in bed, trying to take a nap, and I can't stop thinking about what is coming soon. With Isis, I didn't start dilating until I was 37 weeks. I went from 1 cm to almost 4 cm in 2 1/2 weeks and Isis was born 3 days early. This time, I was having lots of strong Braxton Hicks contractions from 23 weeks or so on, so when I got to 35 weeks and was feeling a lot of pressure in my bottom all the time, I asked to be checked. I was already 1 cm at that point. I am now 38weeks and 3 days. I'm at a full 4 cm and 100% effaced. I've decided that with baby #3, I will not be checked until I hit my due date - if I get that far. Because clearly it doesn't mean anything and it just gives me anxiety to sit here thinking that things could get started at any moment, but they don't. It's also interesting this time because it's a second birth. I had Isis with no medical interventions, no IV, no medication, et...

I have found myself so full of fear at times since knowing Isis was even a possibility. While trying to get pregnant, I was scared that I wouldn't be fertile. During early pregnancy, I was scared of a miscarriage. During later pregnancy, I was scared of something being wrong. During labor, I was scared of a c-section. When she was a newborn, I was scared of SIDS. Now that she's 5 months old, I'm scared of her choking on something or of me falling down the stairs while I'm carrying her or any multitude of things that could hurt her! When a little life is your responsibility, I feel like the fears can just be overwhelming at times! I was reading on Mixed Mama Project & Erin was talking about her fears during pregnancy & they sounded so similar to mine ! Melissa at Dear Baby also talked about some of her fears during the early days with Everly & it hit home to me as well. Last night, I found myself lying in bed, unable to fall asleep because I was scared of...