Ingenue Mom

Dear Isis,  Mommy made a mistake today. A bad parenting choice. One that made you and mommy both very upset. And although we had a conversation about it and I explained why I was wrong, I don't think you fully understood. But what I hope that you do understand is that I am honest and open with you about my mistakes. I recognize them. I own them. I confess them. I ask forgiveness for them. Maybe not right away, but thankfully we serve an amazing, loving and forgiving God who is also very able to guide us in wisdom to our bad choices so that we can seek change. He doesn't let me go very long before He points out my bad choices. I am thankful for that. I wish I could tell you that I will always be the perfect example to look to for life choices. But the truth is that some of my life choices will be more of an example of what not to do. I will not hide those choices from you and one day we will discuss the choices, both good and bad, in my past. I pray that it helps you disc...

Dear Isis, You are changing and growing so much lately! In the last few months, you have grown 3+ inches and you've grown even more than that if I measured attitude and personality in inches and pounds! You are so like me and your daddy. Independent, feisty, opinionated, but also sweet, sensitive and caring. You are apprehensive at first around new people, choosing to sit back and wait before joining in on the fun. This is more me than your dad. You're developing such a little attitude about things. You have opinions now on what thing you wear and what things you want to do. You are becoming more and more independent as each day goes on. We recently had to let you cry again at night because we had let you get into a routine over the holidays (due to all our life changes) of crying at night and us coming in to comfort you. When it got up to about 4-6 times a night, we decided we needed to do something. We let you cry without coming in one night. It only took one night thi...

Dear Isis, Today is your first Father's Day. Technically you were with us last Father's Day, but you were held in my belly, not in my arms. So today I'd like to talk to you about your daddy because I can. The most important thing you need to know is that he loves you so perfectly and so unconditionally. One day you'll get to see the way his eyes light up when he sees you, but watching it these first few months has been an absolute joy. I hope you find joy knowing that you have brought it to him. Your dad will teach you so many things throughout your life, whether through words or through actions. I could not have picked a more perfect man to introduce you to the world. He will protect you and affirm you and encourage you every step of your journey. I know from him you will learn courage because he is truly courageous. He will help you learn to live with integrity because he has learned to live with this conviction throughout his life. He will teach you to investigate, ...

Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the idea of being your mother. Such a privilege & such a responsibility. So many ways to make mistakes. I think for both our sakes, I'll go ahead and admit that there will be so many times I will fall short. So many days I don't get this right. But I promise to never stop trying. We will figure this life out together. Sometimes these middle-of-the-night feedings are the sweetest moments for me. It's like we are the only ones awake in the whole world & I get to just share a few stolen moments with you. It was just me & you for nine months, so I treasure these moments at night. I do look forward to you getting older and able to sleep through the night, but for now I am content with our quiet feedings by night light. I also hold so dear those times when your fussiness is only eased by me or your dad holding you & whispering to you. I hope my arms, voice & face always provide the comfort they clearly provide for you now. I kn...