Elevator Pitch - Take 2!

Elevator Pitch - Take 2! - 31DBBB

I got some great advice on my elevator pitch!! What do you think about this new, revised version?

Tag Line - The story of a first time mom who doesn’t fit in a category & is learning that is ok.

Elevator Pitch - Ingenue Mom is the story of a first time, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, natural birthing, Christian, tattooed mom who loves reading, watching tv & movies, who has had success with scheduling & sleep training. Follow along for accounts of motherhood, blogging tips, life experiences & everything in between!

Comments

Adriel Booker said…

hey, i like this better! i had starred your other post to comment on but hadn't had the chance yet... was thinking it would be good to try to shorten it a little - like you've now done! i like it even a little shorter, say... "the story of a first time mom who doesn't fit in a box." or "the story of a first time mom who's ok with not fitting in a box!" or "the story of a first time mom who won't be boxed in by what's expected." but yeah, i likey! also, your long pitch is good - gives a great picture of what you're blog is about! well done.

Monday, July 19, 2010 at 9:04:00 PM EDT

Asashia said…

Go ahead and think about what Jill said---is it a story, a log, a place to learn, etc. And I used this tool to help me with mine:

http://www.alumni.hbs.edu/careers/pitch/index.html

Monday, July 19, 2010 at 9:11:00 PM EDT

Anonymous said…

Good job! I have struggled with mine. Wrote a great one, deleted it on accident. Cried. Had a drink. Started over. I DO like Jill's idea of using the word "box". You are doing great! Awesome pitch for an awesome blog.

Monday, July 19, 2010 at 9:19:00 PM EDT

vanita said…

I think you're good to go. Still struggling with mine but I have it listed in my profile. Will create my post soon. Trying to figure out how to auto tweet my posts to my twitter account but twitterfeed doesn't seem to work for me.

Monday, July 19, 2010 at 9:28:00 PM EDT

Lynda said…

This is a tough one! I'm going to try to be succinct, but I have so many thoughts.

First, I really like ALL your pitches. I get a great idea of who you are and what kind of blog this is going to be. Your first set of pitches had a charm to them that I feel is missing from your second set though.

One thing jumped out at me from your first pitch that's completely missing here. I'll paraphrase: "Experience as a first-time mom is fun, scary, beautiful, messy and chaotic, but overall it's authentic." I think that might make a good tag line especially when you mix in not fitting into a category.

Maybe something like, "Experiences of a first time mom breaking all the molds. It's fun, scary, beautiful, messy and chaotic, but overall it's authentic."

Anyway, I definitely think you are on the right track! This elevator pitch is a great first challenge, but it's also very difficult! Such a mind exercise! I'd encourage you to write more to highlight the fact that you're still learning about yourself and you don't "fit into a category". Between both sets of your pitches, I think you have some seriously great stuff!

Monday, July 19, 2010 at 10:15:00 PM EDT

Amy said…

Love it! I felt like I needed to revise my Elevator Pitch too. I read some comments and decided I needed some changes. You are totally on the right track now. Can't wait for the rest of this challenge.

#31DBBB!!! *fist pump!*

Monday, July 19, 2010 at 11:50:00 PM EDT