Hormones, Husbands & Help!

We came home from the hospital on Monday. Diana met us at our house when we got home and helped out with a few things as we got settled in. Lewis' mom came over that night and brought us food and helped us give Isis a bath. That night, we went to bed ready for several feedings & very little sleep. It was a little worse than we expected...

Monday night, we went to bed like normal - turned all the lights off and put Isis in her little newborn bassinet thing that's on the top of her pack 'n play. That night, she woke up screaming several times. I couldn't figure out what the problem was. She fed several times and would sleep if I was holding her, but other than that, she was just having none of sleeping on her own. I ended up holding her and trying not to fall asleep for several hours at the end of the night. Thank goodness Diana came over at 9:30 that morning to take care of Isis for a couple of hours so that Lewis and I could sleep a little.

I spent the entire day Tuesday just terrified that I had taken on more than I could handle. I cried about 4 times and when it started to get dark outside, I got this big knot in my stomach thinking that nighttime was coming and I was scared. We went to the pediatrician on Tuesday to get her bilirubin levels checked because she's a little jaundiced. It wasn't enough that we had to do any special treatment in the hospital, but they wanted to check it out the next day to make sure the levels were not going up. I talked to the doctor about the night routine and about her feeding and everything, too. After reading some stuff online at BabyCenter and talking to Diana and some other moms, I made a couple of changes to our nighttime routine, including a night light, watching tv at night so we wouldn't feel so lonely in those middle-of-the-night feedings and trying to put Isis back down quickly rather than holding her to make her go to sleep. Tuesday night was immensely better than Monday night! Lewis got to sleep about 7 hours total and by 11:30 the next morning, I had managed to sleep about the same amount of time - thanks to Diana coming over at 9:30 again to help out for a coule of hours so that we could sleep in the morning. Isis didn't even cry at all throughout the night Tuesday night. She makes these little noises when she wakes up before she starts actually crying and the noises sound different than the ones she makes when she's sleeping, so we were able to get up and get her to feed before she was at the point of crying. She went back to sleep pretty easily after eating and everything went fairly well!

Wednesday we went back to the doctor to check her bilirubin levels again because they had been a little higher on Tuesday. This time, when she was weighed, she already weighed an ounce more than her birth weight!! So I guess feeding is going pretty well since she's also pooping & peeing around the clock. Lewis and I had some visitors throughout the day and then we spent some time watching tv and eating dinner together that night while Isis slept. Lewis has been so amazing through all of this. Seeing how I still cried about 4 or 5 times on Wednesday, he is basically having to take care of me more than Isis sometimes. It's hard to explain that I just feel overwhelmed and keep crying about nothing. I don't even feel sad - quite the contrary - I feel really happy everytime I hold Isis and everytime she eats or sleeps or just sits there and stares at us. She's my favorite thing in the world and seeing Lewis be a dad is just the most amazing thing, too. I feel like I'm falling in love with him all over again. It's like he's a new person that's even more amazing than the old pre-dad version. But still somehow the hormones are out of control and I still cry about everything and nothing at the same time.

Wednesday night was the same as Tuesday night. We both got to sleep quite a bit overall. Diana didn't get to come over Thursday morning, but we did okay! We've spent the entire day at home together - just the three of us! Katisha came over to visit even though it was snowing! We had a little snow day! I've had a couple of crying breakdowns today, but not as many or as intense as the last couple of days. Maybe hormones are balancing out a little. I've heard it takes a couple of weeks for them to really even back out. I'm looking forward to that!

So overall, things are good. Nights aren't too bad. Days are so fun now that it's the three of us. Her bilirubin levels are going back down and she's still feeding and having diaper changes pretty regularly! I look forward to getting on a regular schedule, but as for right now, I'm just happy that she's so laid back! She rarely ever cries, which is so lucky! The pediatrician in the hospital even commented on how laid-back she is. She's amazing. I feel so blessed. Our family and friends have been so wonderful and encouraging! So many people are excited for Isis to be here!

We'll see how my mood changes once Lewis goes back to work next week and it's just me & Isis. I'll confess that I'm completely terrified. But we'll make it work. I gotta say, I've prayed so much in the last few days. I know that God has a plan for Isis and that He has a plan for our family. I'm excited to see where everything goes from here!